How to Go to The Source
December 09, 2014 | Posted in Tuesdays With Transitions
As discussed last week, when “I OWN” the problem, it means my needs are not being met and I have a responsibility to GO TO THE SOURCE (the person). The source is the person whose words or actions are not acceptable to you and is the ONLY one who can solve your problem.
This is called positive confrontation messages. Confrontation is “Face to Face” and does not need to be a battle of blame and defensive reactions. The goals of effective confrontation include:
1. Getting your needs met through a change in the other’s words or behavior.
2. Preserving the other’s self-esteem and not attacking.
3. Maintain the relationship of mutual respect.
Communicating your true feelings directly and openly provides not only you with relief and results but also gives the other person a chance to adjust or change their behavior. It doesn’t work to blame, criticize or attack another by using messages that begin with “YOU’.